Why We Shout In Anger :

“Why We Shout In Anger” ~ A short story on Relationships

A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled ‘n asked. ‘Why do people in anger shout at each other?’

The Disciples thought for a while and then one of them said, ‘Because we lose our calm, we shout.’ ‘But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.’ asked the saint.

The Disciples gave some more answers but none satisfied the Saint.

Finally the saint explained, . ‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.

What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small…’

The saint continued, ‘When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper ‘n they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other ‘n that’s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.’

He looked at his disciples ‘n said. ‘So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant. Do not say words that distance each other more, Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.’

Some Dynamics of Anger

We become more angry when we are stressed and our body resources are down.
We are rarely ever angry for the reasons we think.
We are often angry when we didn't get what we needed as a child.
We often become angry when we see a trait in others we can't stand in ourselves.
Underneath many current angers are old disappointments, traumas, and triggers.
Sometimes we get angry because we were hurt as a child.
We get angry when a current event brings up an old unresolved situation from the past.
We often feel strong emotion when a situation has a similar content, words or energy that we have felt before.
When you start getting upset about something, take a moment to think about the situation. Ask yourself:

How important is it in the grand scheme of things?
Is it really worth getting angry about it?
Is it worth ruining the rest of my day?
Is my response appropriate to the situation?
Is there anything I can do about it?
While you can’t control another person’s anger, you can control how you respond to it:

Set clear boundaries about what you will and will not tolerate.
Wait for a time when you are both calm to talk to them about the anger problem. Don’t bring it up when either one of you is already angry.
Remove yourself from the situation if your loved one does not calm down.
Consider counseling or therapy for yourself if you are having a hard time standing up for yourself.
Put your safety first. Trust your instincts. If you feel unsafe or threatened in any way, get away from your loved one and go somewhere safe.