It's a Bridge .... !!!

Once upon a time two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed without a hitch.

Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.

One morning there was a knock on John’s door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter’s toolbox. “I’m looking for a few days work,” he said.

“Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there. Could I help you?”

“Yes,” said the older brother. “I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That’s my neighbor, in fact, it’s my younger brother. Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I’ll go him one better. See that pile of lumber curing by the barn? I want you to build me a fence – an 8-foot fence – so I won’t need to see his place anymore. Cool him down, anyhow.”

The carpenter said, “I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post-hole digger and I’ll be able to do a job that pleases you.”

The older brother had to go to town for supplies, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day.

The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, nailing.

About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job. The farmer’s eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped.

There was no fence there at all. It was a bridge… a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work handrails and all – and the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming across, his hand outstretched.

“You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I’ve said and done.”

The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other’s hand. They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder. “No, wait! Stay a few days. I’ve a lot of other projects for you,” said the older brother.

“I’d love to stay on,” the carpenter said, “but, I have many more bridges to build!"

One of the most common pieces of career advice given is: “Don’t burn bridges.” You can never know when you’ll cross paths again with an old coworker or boss. But what happens if your relationship ends badly?

It’s essential to make a strong effort to fix the relationship. Not only is it the right thing to do, but if you fix the damage now, you might avoid a broken reputation in the future.

While you should avoid burning bridges at all costs, here are five steps to fixing a negative work relationship:

1. Admit you made a mistake.

Be the bigger person. Step up and apologize. No matter what you did, the other person will be appreciative when you make the effort to make amends. Apologizing can be difficult, especially if you believe the other person was wrong. Plus, it’s often embarrassing to admit your mistakes. However, you cannot fix a relationship and move on if you don’t take this first step. Say, “I’m sorry.”

2. Do it now, not later.

Never wait to fix things with your boss, even if it may feel difficult to approach them immediately after the issue. When you can confront the issue in a timely matter, it will help improve your relationship. If you wait several weeks or even months to offer an apology, the individual could have stewed about the problem and you will appear unprofessional or even lazy.

3. Pick your battles.

Ask yourself, is a little spelling error or missed voicemail going to cost you your job? It’s easy to allow the little mistakes to become a bigger problem than they really are. In reality, if you apologize to your boss continuously for your minor mistakes, they will begin to focus on your mistakes instead of your successes. Make sure, when you feel like you need to apologize to your boss, it is a real issue — not a tiny mishap.

4. Stop gossiping.

We all know it’s easy to talk behind a coworker’s back, especially once you’re not on good terms. If you’re trying to mend your relationship, you need to stop gossiping about them. When you continue to talk behind their back, you run the risk of the gossip getting back to them. If this happens, your apology will not appear sincere and the whole relationship will come crumbling down around you. Gossip is a sure-fire way to relapse into an even worse relationship. Just avoid it at all costs.

5. Listen.

Accept the other person’s apology (if they give you one). And hopefully they will apologize too, since you were the one who initiated the amends. Listen to everything they have to say and thank them. Once you both apologize, you’re both on an equal playing field for the future.

Think about a time where you could have prevented an issue at work. For example, you forgot to complete an assignment with a strict deadline. Could you have prevented the missed deadline by double-checking your calendar?

Burning bridges is something that can be prevented in the long-run if you just pay attention and learn from your mistakes. Your place at work and the relationships you have with your co-workers is invaluable. Make sure you are making the effort to maintain positive relationships at work so you can have those connections throughout your career.